What will you do?

The holidays are filled with traditions.  There are family traditions that we have been doing for years, decades even and as our family grows, so do our traditions.  Sometimes over the years we change, adapt, or keep the traditions.  With the loss of a little one, you begin to wonder what you will do.  Are you keeping the holiday traditions you have?  Are you going to change them?  Are you going to add to them?  Or, maybe even a combination of them all?  Then there is decorating the house for the season.  This time of year seems to be the time of year people go all out when decorating.  Are you going to decorate things the same way?  Who will do the decorating?  Will you still put the tree up, and if so who will put it up?  Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  If you are usually the one who does this and the tasks seem overwhelming you can ask for help.  Between the shopping, wrapping, and cards it’s no wonder that most people get caught up in the hustle and bustle.  When you add grieving to this list, those items can become too much to tackle on your own.  We are all going through this process differently.  I have talked to people who choose to go away to a destination or remain at home doing their own quiet thing.  While yet others want to be surrounded by family.  The choice is yours and you need to do what fits you and your spouse best.  Holiday cards can be another tough decision.  If you decide to send out cards, do you sign your little one’s name?  Do you include a special remembrance?  Do you include them in your family letter?  This too, is something you need to talk with your spouse about and make the decision based on what your heart tells you.

                We plan to follow the flow and traditions of years passed.  The tree will go up, once we decide where to put it and will be decorated with all our special ornaments.  I will decorate the house for Christmas and winter.  This is by far my most favorite time of year to decorate and I go all out.  I know Samantha won’t be here to take part in it, but if the house wasn’t decorated I feel like it would be emptier.  I married into a family who writes letters for Christmas, so every year we have written a letter talking about the year, as well as what might be in store for the new year.  This year will be no different, we will write a letter, but it will have a few additions.  We included a little paragraph about Samantha and in honor of her we included a little dragonfly, as well as a poem that I wrote.

So, what will you do?  What is your plan?  Share below your thoughts, tips, or ideas.

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