January 27-

In Hospital- Last night was one hellish night.  I have never been in so much pain.  I begged and pleaded with God to make it stop.  I kept asking why me, why us.  I have never been in so much pain physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  After the 3rd dose in the middle of the night I just curled up into a ball and wanted nothing more than to go home and have this all be done.  Finally morning came with a doctor visit.  She wondered why I hadn’t had an epidural yet.  So they put one in and had another dose.  Finally I didn’t feel anything.  I spent most of the day dozing in and out of sleep and staring at the TV when I could.  Later in the day I was getting extremely hungry but couldn’t have anything to eat.  The nurse offered a popsicle so I opted to have one.  Mid popsicle I began to feel something slip out.   Samantha born at 4:30sih.  Afterwards, we weighed her, took pictures, handprints, footprints and held her.  We just sat there for a while.  Not knowing what to do next.  Eventually we got al little food, though didn’t eat much.  After the epidural wore off I got up and took a bath.  When I was done we went to bed.  Slept from sheer exhaustion.

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