Stepping out…what does this mean?  Stepping out the door to take in a breath of fresh air…Stepping out onto a new path-weather it be career, school, big life events…Stepping out of your comfort zone…Stepping out of your normal routine…Stepping out to help someone out…So what does stepping out mean to you?

For me, stepping out means stepping out of my comfort zone.  Admitting that some times, you just can’t go at it alone any more.  You need a little extra help, help that can only come from those who are walking the footsteps you are or have walked those similar steps before.  I am surrounded by a lot of people every day.  But having people who really understand you and will walk with you, instead of people who will only walk with you can go a long way.  I am finding, that being on this new path, I need to have both in my life.

I have no problems opening up to others around me through my blogs or in occassion back and forth on a social media sight.  That’s me, a behind the scenes kind of person.  The struggle comes into play when the thought of putting myself out there with a group of people I don’t know face to face.  Now, that is a whole different story.

However, it is a step deep down I knew I needed to take.  The timing due to my work schedule just didn’t work well and it wasn’t a match.  When I decided to take a step back, give up my classroom, and become a building sub, then the pieces seemed to fall into place better.  Now, I had the time.  But that meant, that now I had to take that step.  With each step, it will get easier and I will get stronger.  One day, the step will not seem like such a big step.  It will merely be a bridge to the next place on my path.

What are you stepping out on?

 

February 11-

I am finding that as the days go by I keep finding little triggers that bring a wave of tears and emotion. I knew there were going to be things that tripped me up down the road, the big things, but I forgot to look at the little things. And as much as I wish I could prepare for these, it is impossible. Some things I think I can be ready for, but even those things I am never truly ready for.

Today’s little trigger was a simple thing-putting on my snow pants to go outside. What did me in? The fact that they know fit and to top it off, they fit better now than they did last Winter. I talked with Raun when I got home about triggers. I feel like there have been a lot for me, but I wasn’t able to see many for him. He doesn’t have many, but he has a big one. On his way to work he passes the water tower that is near the cemetery. So while I may have many different ones to face each day, he has one big one, the same one, to face every day. As time goes by, hopefully these things will get smaller and fewer, as well as less frequent.
I ended my work day with sharing my keepsake box with those at work. I was hoping that it would help to relieve some of my feelings by opening up and sharing. In all actuality, all I did was say what was what in the box and answer a few questions as we went along. I am realizing now, that it is hard to be around those who really don’t understand. They may show some interest, but I really wonder how much they really want to know or can really help.

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