February 3-

Today was my first day back to work.  I felt helpless going back knowing that I was leaving Raun home sick with the flu and a nonworking furnace being replaced on one of the coldest days this year.  In all honesty I wasn’t sure I was really ready for this.  Part of me said yes because I needed to get out of the house and try to continue on with the one thing I knew was normal.  I ended up being called to open which was helpful in knowing then that I would be the first out.  I walked into a quiet building, with a hello from the desk.  It was a slow start to the day, some staff stopped by my room to see how things were going and to welcome me back.  Sherry came in and gave me hug right away.  She also checked on me throughout the day.  As kids started arriving I received a lot of “good to see you back” “welcome back” “I’m sorry for your loss” “you and your family are in our prayers” “we’ve been thinking about you” “nothing like getting back into the routine to take your mind off things” “let me know if I can do anything for you”, as well as a few parents sharing their stories.  It was a long day of a few ups and a lot of downs.  Many calls down to get someone in my room so I could leave and go cry in the bathroom.  I was glad when Katie came into the room at nap and said that after nap I was shifting my couple extra kids next door and I could leave early.  I was happy that my co teachers were so understanding.  By the end of the day I was more than ready to go home.  On my way out Erin gave me an envelope of stuff from some of my parents.  And fortunately Sherry was walking out the door with me.  We chatted outside for a bit. Then I got into my car to leave.  I looked at the envelope of stuff and then drove home in tears all the way.  When I got home Raun was beginning to feel better and they were almost done with the heat.  The remainder of the evening I cleaned up some for tomorrow and then chilled for the night.  I know tomorrow will be a long day, and a tough one too.

 

 

February 1-

Raun went back to work and I was on my own for the day.  I set up a time to meet him for lunch in order to get out of the house and get a chance to see how his first day back was.    I wrapped up getting the house put back together for the weekend.  During the night I got up feeling hungry, decided to eat a little, and then got hard hit with the flu.  I was down for the count all night, getting next to no sleep.

February 2- 

I spent the whole day on the couch trying to get better and ready myself for going back to work. I have never been this sick before in my life.  This is definitely something that I didn’t need on top of everything else that was going on.  To top it off, it was the coldest part the year and our furnace was going out.   Lying on the couch I had a lot of time to think and I came to the conclusion that I was not sure if I was ready, but at the same time, staying home by myself much longer probably wasn’t going to be a good thing.

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