For many of us when we go through a process like this we begin to associate certain things to it. Whether it be a song, a place, a flower, a bird, a bug, etc. they all become a symbol for us. What is your symbol? Your way of knowing that your little one is watching over you? A way of letting you know that, “It’s going to be okay”.
What are my symbols? I have two, the dragonfly and the cardinal. Both I have always had an interest in as well as a love for them. Cardinals are also something my Grandmother enjoyed and so that is a connection we have. I feel they are just beautiful birds and no matter the weather, they stick around. It will be the middle of the Winter and you will see a cardinal hoping around on top of the snow. They will weather any storm. As for dragonflies they have always intrigued me. I have many garden stakes that deal with dragonflies around my yard. These two hit home strongly in our loss of Samantha. The room I was in during labor and delivery had a cardinal stenciled on a pine tree branch on the wall across from the bed. The Spring of 2011 has brought many cardinals around, either by sight or just by hearing their beautiful song. The dragonfly runs more deeply and touches even deeper in my heart. The maternity floor at the hospital is also known as the dragonfly floor and there was a dragonfly stone one the wall just outside my door. Once we were home we received a peace lily and in the peace lily was a dragonfly. For my birthday I received a card from my grandfather (who incidentally, this year-2011- chose the card on his own. being 94 years old, my mom usually picks it out) had a dragonfly on it. A book I received had the coloring of a dragonfly wings on the cover, as well as seeing dragonflies as a part of the website where I received my infant loss necklace from and the label of the bath bombs that I got as a Christmas gift. For me, these two things let me know that my little angel is very close by and just stopping into say “Hi Mommy, I am alright”. These two things bring a great sense of peace and comfort to my mind, heart, and spirit.