It was an exciting start to December. We found out that we were pregnant. We had so much fun telling our family and friends. As a fun way of telling some of the family we sent out emails with the subject “An Early Christmas Gift” and we even put it in our Christmas letter to family and friends that we were expecting big changes in 2011.
Well, we definitely got big changes. It all began when I went in for an ultrasound to find out for sure how far along we really were. That’s when I found out there was a lot of extra fluid where it shouldn’t. Most likely being caused by Turner’s Syndrom. A quick explanation of Turner’s Syndrom- an X chromosome is missing. So, we were sent to perinatal in which they confirmed that yes there was fluid. Unfortunately at the time I wasn’t far enough along to get an amnio done so we scheduled an appointment to go back for that two weeks later.
Well, two weeks later went by and we had double duty for appointments on January 26th. In the A.M. a routine schedule doctor appointment and in the P.M. the amnio. I went to the doctor in the morning in which they found that the fetus was no longer viable. However, the doctor told me that the baby had “expired”. Last time I check none of us have an expiration date on the bottom of our foot and here my doctor was comparing my child to a can of beans. By the way, children do not expire, none of us do. Very poor choice of words. That is also when she told me that I had to be admitted into labor and delivery that afternoon. Because there were bones I could not have a D & C. I had to deliver.
The afternoon of January 26th we were admitted into the hospital which turned out to be a two day tour. That night they began the process of inducing and waiting. I got the opportunity to go through the whole process, from contractions to delivery, not to mention the whole range of emotions to boot. On January 27, 2011 at 4:30 pm Samantha Jean was born sleeping. She was 17 weeks old. You could see her tiny little fingers and tiny little toes. You could see where her eyes were and her ears. You could even see tiny little fingernails. She was the most beautiful baby I have seen. After she was born we had the opportunity to weigh her, get hand & foot prints, and most importantly hold her. We have many photos of us holding her, being weighed, and our finger size compared to her hand size. She was a precious little bundle of joy, that even though she was in our world for a brief time, she will forever be in our hearts. Fortunately, we had a phenomenal nursing staff that did their best to make things easier on us. They provided a keepsake box as well as a few items already in it. Since we got home from the hospital we have been adding stuff to the box and the box has now become two.
Her tiny little foot prints have made an everlasting impression on our hearts, as well as our families. Her story is not uncommon, but it is uncommon for those to share their story. It is our job to share our little one’s story and their brief moments here on Earth with us. We came to Samantha’s name through having some quiet down time in the hospital. I had said I would like to use Jean as a middle name because it was my middle name, as well as my mother’s and grandmother’s. So we began to say different names to go with Jean. When we said Samantha it just felt so right and so fitting. It was the perfect name for our perfect little angel. Later we found out the meaning of her name: Samantha (Listener of God) Jean (God is Gracious). Turns out her name was more than just right. It is what God wanted and it is a perfect meaning for what happened and to where she is now. In safe and secure arms, watching over us. Our little Samantha is buried with other little ones who left us too soon. Her name inscribed on a granite wall memorial. Her story to pass on to all.