MyInfantLoss.com

Throughout the years we come across things on our path that at the time may seem meaningless.  It isn’t until later that we begin to wonder.  It may take minutes, days, or even years, but for what ever reason we can’t get that thing out of our mind.  It changes us.  For me, this year has been filled with seeing things in a different light, a different perspective, or new meaning.

 The beginning of the year brought on a life experience I never thought I would face.  The loss of a child.  My husband and lost Samantha, our first pregnancy the end of January.  Since then I have been seeing the side of beauty in the world around us.  What some may see as an annoying snowfall, I could see a beauty in snowy covered trees surrounding us.  Or a simple walk back to a campsite turns into rays of light filtering through the trees.

Since I was a child I was intrigued by dragonflies.  When we were camping and I would catch a glimpse of dragonflies flying around, I would stop for a brief moment watching them.  This past Spring, as I put out my garden art pieces, I realized I have several draongfly pieces.  It seemed odd to me that after having put them out year after year in Springtime that I had never noticed before.  So what changed?  The significance of dragonflies.

The dragonfly runs more deeply and touches even deeper in my heart.  The maternity floor at the hospital is also known as the dragonfly floor and there was a dragonfly stone one the wall just outside my door.  Once we were home we received a peace lily and in the peace lily was a dragonfly.  For my birthday I received a card from my grandfather had a dragonfly on it.  A book I received had the coloring of a dragonfly wings on the cover.  There are dragonflies as a part of the website where I received my infant loss necklace from and the label of the bath bombs that I got as a Christmas gift. 

Throughout the Summer I would be visited by dragonflies in places where I normally did not see them.  I would see them at work while out on the playground, occasionally they would hang with me at the memorial wall where Samantha’s name is written, and even at home.  There was even one time when I was leaving for work, it happened to be a tough day,  that a dragonfly landed on my hand for a brief moment.  They seemed to show up just when I need them the most.  Even though it has gotten cold now, the dragonflies still come around.  Only instead of flying around outside, I find them around the house in the midst of doing daily tasks.  For me, a dragonfly lets me know that our little angel is very close by and just stopping into say “Hi Mommy, I’m alright”.  This bring a great sense of peace and comfort to my mind, heart, and spirit.