As I am bouncing my new little guy, I am thinking about Mother’s day. For those facing a loss, Mother’s Day can be hard to take in. And when it’s your first child, then what do you do. Is it still a celebration? It may seem weird to celebrate being a mom when your baby isn’t in your arms, but you should celebrate being a mom. Honestly, it will be tough, it was for me. Mother’s Day came just a few short months after we lost Samantha. It felt right to do a little something, but I also wanted the time to reflect a little as well. We spent that Mother’s Day enjoying the warmth of the sun (after a very long, snowy Winter), enjoying a coffee beverage & pastry from a local coffee shop, and sitting down by the Mississippi River.
That was two years ago. It was my very fist Mother’s Day and my daughter was in heaven. Now, I get to celebrate Mother’s day with her in heaven and our new little guy who arrived in April. I am a mom times two, but it doesn’t look like it to most people. We are blessed to have Samantha watching over us, like a beautiful angel. It all just seems a little surreal. I am a new mom, but yet I am not. I have been a mom for two years, but have had different responsibilities than a typical mom does. And yet, right now I am a first time mom because this is our first child that has successfully made it. Some time down the road we will have the opportunity to explain to Little Guy that he has a sister. But for now, I am relishing in the fact that I get to watch him grow…a little too fast it seems sometimes, but I get to watch him grow, change, and learn. He is such a blessing. We received a photo frame with a beautiful quote that really says it all: “We made a wish and you came true. And we thank god for the gift of you.” We made a wish years ago to have children. The path that we thought we would have taken and the one that has been laid in front of us are two very different things. While there have been struggles, I wouldn’t change a thing. I am a mommy x 2!
Happy Mother’s Day to all! Even if you aren’t able to hold your children in your arms, they are always in your heart. And even if others can’t see all your children, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t a mom. You are, and always will be. Be gentle to yourself today and try to find some joy in it.