Today marks the last of the “year hurdles”. July 5th was set as our due date. I remember hearing the doctor say that it was the date Samantha was due, but I felt that it was too early. In my mind I figured it would be later in July. Turns out, we were both wrong. Samantha came in January instead. She had her own plan.
I am not sure how to look at this date. Last year this date mark the what could have been. The excitement, the anticipation, the joy. Last year this day was really tough. We went away for the weekend and did something we enjoyed…camping. The last day we were there as I was walking back to our campsite the sun was shining through the trees creating a beautiful and peaceful image. I captured that moment in the photo in this post. It was after that that I began to feel ready to begin trying again. A let’s just see what happens kind of trying again.
But this year, the date has a different feeling. I can’t quite put into words exactly what it is, but it just feels different. Even though this was Samantha’s expected arrival date, she came on January 27 instead. A date which holds so much more meaning and significance. I am not saying that July 5th isn’t important to remember, it’s just not as important this year. I recognize this date and what it might have been. However, that is not what is.
So on this day, I will remember and reflect.