After the loss of a child, couples are faced with the grief, the healing process, and the question of do we try again.  The grief and healing process come with time.  But the question that sits just below the surface, waiting to come out, is do we want to try again.  So, are we ready? Do we want to?  Are we going to?  What if?

For some the answer is already there because the circumstances of their previous pregnancy and loss.  They may have been left without the option to try again due to health, risk, age, etc.  For others it is about being ready again…ready to face being pregnant again…ready to face the risks and rewards…ready to face fears and hopes.

Near the end of last Summer we decided that we were trying again.  By trying I mean, seeing what happens and going with the flow.  I wasn’t charting, temping, or counting.  A couple of months ago we had a long talk and decided that we really wanted to start “trying to try”, as I put it.  So to the calendar I went.  Since then I have had people tell me I should do this or should do that to better our chances of getting pregnant.  My conclusion is…I am doing what is best for my husband, me, and our relationship.

So begins the journey of trying to grow our family.  When you were ready to try again, how did you know?  What thoughts and feelings do you have running through your mind as you are going through this process?  If you have been through the process of trying again, what words of advice and encouragement would you give to others?

Liz Lauterbach

Wife, Mom, Photographer, and Writer walking the path of healing by sharing my story.
  • Erin Maurelli

    Age, circumstances, health, stress-levels. . . all of these play a role, don’t they? I knew I’d be willing to try again when I watched our daughter (7) playing with, and caring for my 2-year-old nephew. She would make a terrific big sister.
    Our situation will require IVF to achieve our goal. This includes self-injections and months of diet and exercise. I will admit, I am a little put off by this. Sure, I have fear. What if I work hard, spend a lot of money, and still come home “empty handed?” Crushing.
    How does a marriage survive that?
    Nonetheless, I have never been one to be ruled by fear. Sadly, so many people stay in jobs, relationships or situations out of fear of the unknown. “What if it goes wrong…?”
    I say, “What if it goes Right?!?” Isn’t that worth the effort? Isn’t that when the pay-off comes?
    You are living with loss every day – and you know what that feels like. Continue on down the same road or change it up? My guess is that you know in your heart that you have to be BRAVE, you have to find a way to dispel with fear and replace it with FAITH.

    • Liz Lauterbach

      Thanks for sharing Erin. Your words about being brave and having faith are encouraging, as well as a good reminder. I think all to often in this process those things get lost every so often and we needed to reminded of them. Fear can be so strong and overwhelming sometimes. But with the right words, the right encouragement and the right support we can once again regain faith and be brave, and continue to move forward. Thinking of you and your family.

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