I have always believed that those who leave Earth go to heaven. Family, friends, and pets all have a spot in heaven when their time comes. I have come face to face with loss over my 30 years of life. I have lost three of my 4 grandparents, my baby girl, and several pets. I have learned that things change when you loose someone close to you. I have also learned that grief is different depending on who you loose. For my grandparents I was in a state of shock for part of the time, attended the funeral, felt sad, and continued on with life. When I lost pets I was sad, but moved forward rather quickly. I was comforted to know that they were in heaven now, a safe place.
When we lost Samantha the grief was totally different. A year later I still grieve. It has taken on many different shapes and form, but it is always a part of me. There was a part of me that knew she was in good hands, she was in heaven. However, it was hard for to accept that she was there. Unlike like my grandparents’ lives or even my pets, her life was much shorter. Even though her life was shorter, she deeply touched me in ways that only the loss of a child can do. At the cemetery there is a special place for all the children who are buried, it made me wonder if there is a special place for all the little one’s gone way to soon to heaven.
I was given the following poem by a good friend of mine. She has helped me a great deal through all of this. She lost her little one many years ago and one of the helpful things she said to me right away was “Benjamin is up there helping Samantha. She will be in good hands.” The poem “Heaven’s Nursery” has helped to create a visual perspective on what it is like for Samantha up in heaven.
A special place,a nursery
Where ‘little spirits’ not fully grown
Go to live in their Heavenly home.The angels must attend with love
Tiny spirits on wings of doves,
The choir of angels must sing lullabies
Maybe quiet their tiny cries.
The Father must come by each day
To cuddle and play in a special way
These tiny spirits left earth too soon
Little ones called Home from the womb.
These sparks of life did not perish
But came to the Father’s love to cherish,
To grow and be taught in his own arms
Safely away from all earthly harm.
The comforter was sent to earth at once
To the parents who lost their little one
Their hearts so ache,their arms feel empty
The question ‘why’ seems so tempting.
Then all at once in the midst of tears
There comes a peace that stills the fears
The parents share the Father’s own need
To hold their tiny spirit being.
They relinquish their own desperate hold
And release their baby to the Father’s fold,
Then comes an angel to whisper the truth
Of a nursery in Heaven bearing rich fruit.
Of tiny spirits chosen to worship the Father
A place that couldn’t be filled by another,
Called to be spared from the struggles of earth,
Chosen to be one of Heaven’s births.
So Father,whisper words of love from me
To our unborn ‘life’ in your nursery