Raun and I have been through many holidays and celebrations since we lost Samantha. We have faced Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Weddings, and Birthdays. We are to the point where we have two major holidays to work through…Thanksgiving and Christmas. These two holidays are filled with families, friends, new experiences, old experiences, and tradition. So, how does one face these next couple of months?
In my pregnancy and infant loss group this was our topic…How to make it through the Holidays. This topic is interesting for me, I learned a lot just by listening to others in the group. To start we each shared what we were most dreading about the upcoming holiday time. For most, it seeemed to be family that was causing the most anxiety. Unfortunately for a lot of people their relationships become strained with their family and their family is not overly supportive on the topic. They would prefer to push it out and remain inside their comfort zone.
I am not familiar with this. Fortunately, for me, for us, I think our relationship with family has become stronger and deeper. We are lucky to have many hugs, prayers, and words of comfort coming from all over the country. That, to me, is a big blessing, especially after listening to other’s in the group.
We also began to talk about the things we will do, do not do, or change. Like parties to attend, people to see, food to make, shopping to do, and so on. For me, the thing that I took away from this night was not only being thankful for my family, but the idea of doing something special to remember our little one. I had been thinking on this for a little while. We are going to include a special something in each of our Christmas cards that we send out this year in memory of our little girl. Iam also keeping my eye out for a special decoration, ornament, or something that resonates deeply within my heart that we can always put out during the holiday season.
Over the next couple of weeks I am going to post some topics on getting through the holidays. They will be questions to think about and I will add my own input on what we’ve done on previous holidays or what we plan on doing for the next two. It is my hope that these will help make it a little easier to get through the holidays and hopefully you will even be able to find a little joy and happiness during this time. I know it isn’t always easy to find the happier side of things when you’ve lost a child, I have been there. I am still learning though. Learning how to make it through, how to move forward, how to take what has happened and help others, and find ways to honor Samantha.
So, I ask you…this upcoming Holiday Season, what is something that you dread? What are you most fearful of or worried about? On the flip side, what are you most excited about? What are you most looking forward to doing? How are you going to find bits of happiness and joy in the season? I liked to hear your thoughts and ideas. Together, we can work our way through the holidays.