February 5, 2011

Today was a very interesting day for lack of better words to use.  In the morning we had Samantha’s Memorial Service.  Raun & I went, as well as my dad, Raun’s mom, Raun’s Grandparents (Grandma & Grandpa B), and my friend Kelli.  We arrived at the Chapel/Mausoleum to find close to 70 plus people there, which makes sense because there were 25 little ones buried that day.  The service was phenomenal and absolutely beautiful.  I don’t think I could have put together something as amazing and memorable.  There verses read, poems shared, and song sung together.  Many tears were shed.  Near the end of the service each family got a lit white candle with a footprints charm around it and finished by singing a song.  (The candle is placed on our fireplace, next to Samantha’s handprint in clay, all which are by our wedding unity candle and picture). 

 After the service we all headed to our cars, Raun first carried the casket with Samantha in it to someone’s car.  We head to the burial site then.  As sad and cold of day it was, the place was beautiful.  All the trees were frosted over and had a warm glow from the sun shining on them.  We drove to the spot in absolute silence, something that was respectful, but it was almost too quiet, as we were left to our own personal thoughts.

Upon arriving we walked up to the area with others and stood huddled together underneath a canopy.  I honestly don’t remember what the priest said that day, but I do remember watching everyone grab a handful/shovelful of dirt to place in the ground, as well as flowers.  Each of us took our turn.  With each thump of the dirt hitting the inside, the tears came down faster and heavier.  We closed out the service and walked to the cars.  Next…home.

 Now, here is where things get a bit odd.  Seeing as our furnace had gone, during one of the coldest weeks of Winter, the earliest we could have someone come out for an estimate was today.  So, we got home ordered some John’s Pizza Café pizza.  We chatted, ate, and laughed some all the while sharing stories.  Then…ding dong… to add to the day the furnace guy came.  He, walking into what seeming looked like family hanging, had no idea truly what was going on.  He did the estimate and we ordered our new furnace.

 The day ended with everyone heading back to their respective places and us taking my dad to the airport.  Then home again.  Home to the silence.

Liz Lauterbach

Wife, Mom, Photographer, and Writer walking the path of healing by sharing my story. http://www.myinfantloss.com
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